I might be a Hipstermom but, deep down, I am a whore for fashion. September’s Vogue is my ultimate magazine purchase and, while I do not think all fashion trends should be followed (I lived through the 80’s, ’nuff said), I do respect and admire the creative genius behind some of these designers.
I wanted to be bohemian, I really did, but at the end of the day, I tend towards preppy, mod, classic looks. I like clothing that’s timeless, elegant, and classic but with a little bit of an edge. As a larger lady who actually cares about how I look, I spent years shopping, searching for the brands, designers and super stores that house clothes that look good on my figure. I knew that I could do no wrong at Ann Taylor Loft, especially when I needed to buy pant suits for work, or sweater sets that were modest, pick up jeans and other casual pants at The Gap, tops and Shabbat dresses at Banana Republic, and when I really had money to spend, I could spend it at Salon Z at Saks Fifth Avenue. And, for my every day casual wear, I turned to J. Crew.
But deep down, I hunger to one day own a vintage LBD (little black dress) by Giorgio Armani, a Dolce & Gabbana satin pencil skirt, a DVF wrap dress in a variety of patterns and colors, and a classic, white button down shirt by Carolina Herrera. But, let’s be real, to own these types of fashions you need to have both the figure and the money. And, unfortunately, these items don’t come in my size or my budget.
So, I do what only a fashionable fat girl can do, I accessorize. As a single gal living and working in Manhattan, I would load up on fashionable footwear, brand name sunglasses, vintage clutches, and even a Hermes scarf. The most expensive dress I own came from Marina Rinaldi, and I was a size 22 and in desperate need of something to wear to my cousin’s wedding. I choked on that Saks bill, ate canned tuna for a month and didn’t pick up a bar tab the entire summer. I was also really into make up, and made sure my train case was stocked with Mac, Bobbi Brown, Trish McEvoy and Stila cosmetics.
True to my Hipster sensibilities, my “going out clothes” depended on where I was heading. If I was spending a Saturday night, hanging with friends at Don Hill’s, I would make sure to wear my Mod clothes. Granted, my skinny jeans weren’t skinny enough given my figure, but I paired them with a pair of plaid Vans and I was set.
These days, my “going out clothes” is buried in the back of a closet. In the land of spit up and projectile poopy, there’s no need for any of my fashionable gear. As for Shabbos wear, I’m comfortable wearing just a clean t-shirt and skirt. I have an entire closet full of pant and skirt suits that haven’t been worn in more than six years!
But, today, I decided it was time to part ways with some of the fashion items cluttering our home, languishing in drawers, and collecting dust from disuse. I decided it was time to say goodbye to some of my favorite shoes.
Unfortunately for me, I have really unique feet. They’re tiny but wide, making it really, really difficult to find shoes that are both pretty and that fit. For years, I’ve been wearing the wrong size shoes, stuffing my wide feet into sizes that are far too narrow, hoping I’ll “stretch them out” without losing too much blood.
But, I’m tired of staring at the beautiful pair of Stuart Weitzman brown mules that cut up my toes and leave me with blisters every time I walk out the door, or the sexy pair of black, leather sling backs from Nine West that, paired with black tuxedo pants, made me look super svelte. Unfortunately, the slings never actually stayed on my heel, so walking in them proved treacherous.
Is it too much to ask for fashionable footwear that actually stay on my feet? I don’t think so!
The adorable, brown shoes I wore to the Kiddush on Shabbat broke on our walk home, and thus they ended up in the garbage. By the end of today, I will say goodbye to three pairs of Nine West shoes and DH’s cousin and our babysitter is a very happy 17 year old. Those sexy black sling backs, I trust, will be very good to her.
I hope, one day, to be able to buy really great footwear. Who doesn’t want to own a pair of Christian Louboutin’s with those trademark red soles? But let’s be real, I doubt they come in wide.
And so, with the summer approaching, and really with no exciting places to go, I plan on living in my Birkenstock sandals. If I manage to keep a t-shirt clean, that will also be a miracle.
And I’m going to keep that pair of prized Ferragamo’s in the back of my closet, just in case.