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DLBCL

28 May 2018

Deadpool 2

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Gaby’s shoulders slumped as he hung laundry on Friday afternoon. His cousin had picked up the kids for a fun afternoon at their great Aunt and Uncle’s house and we were taking advantage of the quiet to  prepare the house for Shabbat. I had already spent three hours cooking through Millennial Kosher, the hottest new kosher cookbook on the market, and was taking a minute to rest my feet. From my perch in the living room, I studied my bone weary husband. The past six months have been really rough on him but, like me, the past week has been excruciating as we wait for the call with the results from my PET CT.

I took my phone and silently texted our babysitter to see if she was free on Sunday night. I knew we could both really benefit from a night out at the movies. Seconds later she confirmed her availability and I channeled all my inner Oprah to surprise my husband with the news.

“You and me, babe! Sunday night, 7:00 p.m., Deadpool 2! I got us a babysitter!” I crowed and was so pleased as the grin split across his face. Movie night was definitely the distraction we needed to get us through the waiting period.

On Sunday, I walked over to my parents apartment in Baka to wait for the kids. Yarden came out first and I gave her lunch before Sivan came home from school. I took her around the corner to check in on our favorite berry tree and while most of the ripe ones have been picked clean by the neighborhood residents, we managed to pick four ripe/semi-ripe ones. We brought them home, washed them, and Sivan enjoyed eating them before she started working on her homework. I’m trying to let the kids have more responsibility and freedom so I let Sivan pick up Tani from gan by herself and they patiently waited for me in the Matnas. Then we went back to my parents apartment for some TV before Gaby finished work and picked us up.

I was exhausted from a long day and the walk from our apartment in the heat, but was elated to finally be on my own and doing pick up again. We told the kids we were going out as soon as we all piled into the car.

“Mommy, you’re not wearing that to go out tonight, are you?” asked my middle child.

I hadn’t really put much thought into changing but I looked down at my grungy pants and worn t-shirt and realized she had a point. While Gaby took care of dinner and showers, I spent some time getting myself ready for date night. I put on a nice skirt and black top and rummaged around my shoe drawer for a nice pair of ballet slippers. I took out a black purse that I haven’t used in almost a year and filled it with a lipstick, some Purelle, my teudat zehut. Then I went into the bathroom and put on a little makeup: some black kohl eyeliner, pink blush on my cheeks and a little concealer. I can’t wear mascara yet since my eyelashes haven’t really grown in but my eyebrows are growing so I was able to use a little eye pencil to give the illusion of shaped and dark eyebrow. Five minutes before our babysitter arrived, I put on my wig.

“Mommy, now you looked Chardeit! Like one of the teachers in my school,” Sivan stood in my doorway dripping from her shower, wrapped in a towel, while her toothless grin put a huge smile on my face.

I leaned over and whispered, “I know I look Charedi (ultra-religious), but you and I both know the truth!”

We giggled together as I lice combed her hair and our babysitter knocked on the door. I put on some lipstick and a spritz of Jo Malone perfume and we were off to date night!

It felt great to be spending some much needed one-on-one time with Gaby. It felt good being all dressed up, even though I kept fussing with my wig. Somehow my side part has now become a middle part and I kept trying to create a side part but it just wasn’t working out. I gave up as soon as we pulled into the parking lot of Cinema City.

Gaby and I grinned at each other as we made our way to the ticket booth. He had reserved tickets and we had good seats, even though we were both slightly concerned about sitting so close to other people. I know my numbers are okay but I still get nervous sitting so close to strangers. I tried not to be so conscious of every cough or sneeze that surrounded me.

We purchased a medium tub of popcorn and some waters and settled in to watch the commercials before the previews. There were at least six McDonald’s commercials which made me incredibly sad, I certainly did not feel any desire for a McFlurry after the bombardment of Big Mac messaging.

I lost all sense of taste five kernels into the tub of popcorn and immediately felt disappointed. Like a TV on the fritz, my taste buds have been working on and off since the last round of high-dose methotrexate. I kept eating, hoping the taste would come back, and then gave up after a couple of handfuls. I have never not managed to eat through a tub of popcorn at the movies, but I just chalked it up to another one of the changes I have to deal with since chemo. We brought the tub home and send the kids bags of popcorn for snack; they were thrilled!

So, the thing about Deadpool 2, is that it was supposed to be a safe movie for me. I watched the trailer and was promised a night of gore and violence, laugh out loud antics and quick witted dialogue, and plenty of Ryan Reynolds shenanigans.

Yet somehow, I ended up weeping towards the end of the movie, and I was extremely unprepared. I’m not gonna spoil it for anyone who hasn’t seen the movie, but basically if you’re a cancer patient waiting on test results to find out if you’re in remission, you might want to go see The Avengers movie instead. Gaby got teary too and squeezed my hand and handed me tissues when the tears starting flowing.

Who would have thought Deadpool 2 would have been a trigger movie? For the most part, we were thoroughly entertained for the almost two hour film.The funny parts were hilarious, and there was a ton of bad language, CGI fights and gun fights.

And we were just so happy to be together, in the moment, enjoying life.

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