Not So Fun with Fondant

After spending four frustrating hours today trying to make the perfect birthday cake for my Father-in-law’s 61st birthday celebration this evening, I’ve come to a realization. I will never, ever, be the Mom who makes gorgeous birthday cakes for her children.

This came after the following:

  • Two botched batches of non-dairy, no margarine (DH has high cholesterol and DD has a milk allergy) chocolate icing
  • Dropping not one but two raw eggs on the floor. Oh, and they were extra large
  • Breaking my hand mixer, leading me to try to whip up the icing with a whisk (it doesn’t work)
  • Mixing up the Hebrew words on my fondant box so that I couldn’t figure out how the heck to get it into a perfect, smooth, flat consistency to drape over the cake
  • With practically zero upper body strength, the sweat poured off my brow as I struggled to roll out the fondant into said perfect, smooth, flat consistency to drape over the cake.
  • Using up one and a half bottles of canola oil, all of the powdered sugar in the house and almost a dozen eggs – only to throw all of it away

I had big dreams people. I had dreams of creating beautiful birthday cakes for my daughter.

A whimsical Elmo cake for when she turns two

An elaborate carousel for when she turns eight

A sheet cake with ballet slippers for her dance themed-Bat Mitzvah

The coolest topsy-turvy cake for her Sweet 16!

And finally, the Tiffany box classic cake for her wedding shower

And what do I really have? A cracked brown fondant, lemon supreme cake with six white sugar roses in a springform pan. I have no strength left to try to roll out more fondant so I could cut out the 61 and put on the cake. I’m scared to even take a picture since it looks so horrified. What was I thinking getting brown icing? It’s about as revolting as the armadillo groom’s cake from Steel Magnolia’s. I’m so afraid that it won’t taste good, I called DH and told him about the disaster that is his Father’s birthday cake. As soon as I pick him up from work, I’m taking us all straight to the bakery to buy a decent birthday cake.

I’m so disappointed with this effort but, I think it’s a sign of maturity. Better that I figure this all out now then the night before a birthday party where I’m expecting 25 little kids who will tear down the place if they don’t have birthday cake. Perhaps it’s for the best. I still have some really great qualities, cake creation just ain’t one of them.

Have you ever tried to create the perfect birthday cake for your child, only to have it fall flat? Let me know!

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2 Responses to Not So Fun with Fondant

  1. thanks for your encouragement on my cosleeping post! my sister is a cake decorator so hopefully she can make all my cakes for me in the future. she also does this really cool thing where she cuts up a watermelon into tiers for a healthy cake.

  2. Hi dear, my mom always did her kids bday cake by herself. And as I remember, I never complaint at all. For me, it was always the best Bday Cake I could ever got.

    Now, with 3 kids.. I also do the same thing. Every year, every kids, got my special Bday Cake. And I really work hard with that, especially after the fondant season come..

    So far, every time I’m finish w/ the cake, all I see is my child big smile. And that’s more than enough for me..
    They don’t need an expensive cake..what they need is their mom’s ♡̬̩̃̊. And it’s in the cake ☺

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